


the good kind of distracting;

by prouveyrac



Series: sanders sides college!au [2]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Romance, again they are not all thomas sanders, but they make him feel all warm and fuzzy, logan has Feelings that he doesn't understand yet, use your imagination for the fcs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 19:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13688586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: “Logan, you’re rambling. What are you so nervous about?” Patton asked with a frown. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you don’t have to be nervous! It’s me!”“And that’s exactly it! It’s you!” Logan exclaimed.Logan has feelings for Patton that he can't quite understand. To have someone so open, so bright, right in front of him, picking off bricks one by one from the walls that had been around him for years, it sent a jolt of nerves through him. He just wasn’t quite sure if they were fear for what could happen, or the want to see what would.





	the good kind of distracting;

As Logan expected would happen, it did not take long for Patton to stick around. With seeing Virgil regularly and the trio’s door always being open to him, Patton soon found his place among the three of them. Now that Patton was with them as much as another college student balancing assignments and a life could be, Logan realized that now he cannot see their group without him.

Patton added a nice balance to the group, which Logan, at first, was surprised to discover. Or, more so, his surprise came upon realizing that Patton grew closest with _Virgil_ first. An optimistic extrovert who thrived off of seeing the best in every single person and situation, Patton was the complete opposite of anxious, shy, better-suspicious-than-sorry Virgil. Every single outcome pointed to them being aggravated by the others presence, both unable to understand the others outlook on life, and yet any onlooker would think that Virgil and Patton had been friends for years. Logan did not question exactly how it happened; he knew when something wasn’t his business. But he did find it safe to assume that the pair helped each other in a way that he didn’t think he quite understood, yet.

Patton and Roman, understandably, easily became friends. Compassionate and encouraging Patton was everything the creative, outgoing, yet sometimes insecure Roman needed. Where Logan, who did not believe himself to be creatively inclined, could only offer someone to vent to when Roman found himself in the midst of a block, Patton was there to be able to work with Roman and help him through the mental block that had him set back. Patton could bounce off of Roman’s energy just as easily as he could calm him down when his racing, daydreaming mind was ready to get the best of him. The two extroverts easily kept conversation flowing, and Roman and Patton found a constant person to go out with when the other two were occupied.

Yet, Logan’s observations of his own relationship somehow shocked him the most.

(“You can’t sit here and analyze every friendship you make,” Roman had told him one day. “They just happen, and that’s the best part!”

“Perhaps,” Logan had agreed. “But people naturally gravitate to those who share similar interests, those who can help them as much as they themselves could do to the other. Don’t you think any of that is worth thinking about?”)

Patton, in a way, was everything Logan was not. Not in a way similar to how Virgil and Patton, or even Virgil and Roman, were different. Patton was emotional. He made decisions based on what he felt in his heart instead of analyzing each path -and its corresponding results- accordingly. Patton had hope that there was good in every person he met, and he gave pity and sympathy to those who, in Logan’s eyes, did not deserve so. Yet, he was not a pushover. He was governed by his heart but had a fair sense of what was right and what wasn’t. He refused to let people walk over those he cared about, nor did he stand idly by when his friends tore themselves down.

Then, there was Logan. In his decision making, his feelings might as well have had the last say. He found no use in making decisions based on emotions; they were fleeting, temporary, temperamental. Someone once called him emotionally repressed, and perhaps they were not wrong in noting that Logan had a harder time understanding feelings than most, but he did not believe that discounted any of his decision making. He found it better to make decisions based on what made sense after thinking through every option. It was what would lead to a result that led to the least amount of conflict.

Yet, for all the times Logan and Patton had come to disagreements in their thoughts, they never once fought. Logan, despite his introversion, was not one to keep his voice at bay when he believed he was right. But _that_ was usually when he was dealing with others who, also, believed that only they were correct. Patton, though, understood, or at least attempted to. He did not try to put down Logan’s thoughts, as many others had done before, and instead stepped back to try to see where Logan was coming from. He never came into a disagreement with aggravation or annoyance; he just wanted to see what was going on in Logan’s head to figure out if they could find a compromise and, many times, succeeded in doing such. Whenever they talked, whether it be over coffee at a cafe table, sticky notes in the library, or the loud thump of either of his roommates’ music, they managed to reach a conclusion where neither were unhappy.

Logan very rarely found people who could so easily see into the workings of his mind, not to mention a person who was not put off by someone so stark in contrast.

And Logan, now that he found someone who listened and… _cared_ , couldn’t get that someone out of his mind. He didn’t think he wanted to, either.

His mind worked through all of this as the four of them sat outside. It was midway through September, and the suffocating heat and humidity of August had finally broken into something manageable. The small group was situated under a tree, isolated on the outskirts of campus. Students bustled by on their way to classes or lunch plans, and they were left undisturbed. Roman was lying on one of the blanket they had brought out, propped up on his elbows with headphones in, a textbook beneath him, and a highlighter in hand. He bobbed his head to whatever song was playing and used the highlighter to more so color in the textbook than actually take notes. Virgil was lying on his back on a shared blanket with Patton. A single headphone was in his ear and his eyes shut. His head lolling slightly to the side showed that he was on the brink of unconsciousness.

Patton was lying next to him, his hands clasped behind his head and his blue eyes looking up at the sky through the tree branches. Whatever sun that had managed to shine through shone specs onto him that could have been taken as a natural glimmer coming from him. He looked completely and utterly serene amid the three of them. A small smile rested on his lips and his chest rose and fell with ease.

Logan, who was sitting up against the tree itself, couldn’t help but notice. His legs outstretched, a notebook rested on his thighs but it had been long ignored for a while now. He wasn’t typically one for daydreaming, but he also wasn’t typically one for being so distracted from his schoolwork by boys.

“Logan,” Patton suddenly said, his head tilting in his direction. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

 _You_ , Logan immediately thought before brushing it aside. “What makes you think I’m thinking about something?” he asked instead.

Patton’s smile met his eyes. “I can practically hear you thinking all the way over here,” he said. “And you’ve had the tip of your pen pressed against your notebook for about five minutes and yet, instead of writing, you’ve just been staring out into nowhere.”

Logan looked down at the blank notebook page and saw that the ink from his pen had began to bleed through the pages. Patton had been watching him, or at least glancing at him, and he was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed. “I guess I am a bit distracted,” he agreed.

“Well, what’s on your mind?” Patton asked. He rolled over onto his stomach before pushing himself up onto his elbows. Virgil elbowed him for disturbing his almost slumber but Patton paid no attention. “Everything alright?”

Logan huffed out a breath through his nose and looked back down at his notebook. In the margins, he began to draw a small spiral that eventually grew wider and wider. _We fit together better than I thought we would,_ he thought. _I don’t understand feelings well, but I want to begin to understand yours more, understand you more._ “I’m just tired,” he said. “I was up late writing a report last night and I guess I’m just reaping the consequences.”

Virgil, who now _of course_ regained most of his consciousness, cracked an eye open at hearing that. Logan hoped that he wouldn’t mention that Logan, for once, did not have any work to do last night, and instead actually got a reasonable amount of sleep.

“Well then, why don’t you take a break,” Patton suggested. “It’s a beautiful day out, you don’t want to spend all of it with your nose in a book.”

Logan sighed. “Well, I do have work to do and-”

“And it will still be there when you get back,” Patton said. “Come on, Lo, just a couple of minutes. I could use someone to talk to since Virg is sleeping-”

“Trying to,” Virgil muttered.

“-and Roman is studying,” Patton continued.

“More like coloring,” Logan said.

Patton beamed. “Or that,” he agreed. “But, still! Put down your notebook and come lay here with us! That tree _cannot_ be a comfortable back rest.”

“This blanket is not big enough for three,” Virgil said with slight annoyance in his voice at being disturbed. “And we literally brought out a third blanket.”

Patton then pushed himself up off the blanket and onto his feet. “Exactly,” Patton said. “And Virgil does need his sleep, so-” he held out a hand to Logan “-let’s get our own blanket!”

Logan only hesitated for a second before giving Patton his hand and allowing himself to be pulled up. He dropped his notebook and pen to the grass as Patton grabbed the third, neatly folded blanket.

“We shouldn’t disturb them,” Patton said, leading them a couple paces away. “Since we’re gonna talk and hang out and you’re going to chill, we should at least be considerate.” Patton grinned and Logan couldn’t help but smile back. He helped Patton lay down the blanket on the grass before laying back down next to him.

Once he was situated, he noticed that Roman had been looking over in their direction. He raised an eyebrow at Logan and Logan looked away, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

Patton’s eyes were back on the sky. “It’s such a beautiful day out,” he repeated, his voice soft.

Logan’s eyes were on him. “I suppose,” he said, not quite concerned about the weather.

“You suppose?” Patton questioned with a raised eyebrow but also a smile. He tilted his head towards Logan. “You don’t have to think so much right now. Just lie back and relax. You _do_ know how to do that, don’t you?”

“Am I sensing some sarcasm, Patton?” Logan asked, grinning as Patton let out a laugh. “That’s it, Virgil is too much of an influence on you. We already have his sarcasm fueled by his sardonicism, Roman’s fueled by his ego, and my clever brand of sarcasm, which is clearly the superior of the three. We cannot have you, too.”

“Well, what would my brand of sarcasm be?”

“Kind sarcasm,” Logan said.

“Yeah, the _kinda_ sarcasm that comes when you least expect it,” Patton laughed. Logan would admit, he was impressed with Patton’s quickness at making the joke.

Logan sighed and shook his head in disappointment. “Despite ‘kind sarcasm’ not being one of my brightest statements, the fact that you turned it into a pun wounds me,” he said, not nearly as serious as he let on. He did have a sense of humor, and one that actually did favor towards sarcasm and puns, but he wasn’t ready for that to be used against him yet.

“But I think you found it funny,” Patton beamed, poking Logan’s cheek. Logan let his smile slip through. “See! I can see right through you, Specs, I know that you find my jokes funny.”

“You keep believing that, Patton,” Logan said, though even he wasn’t quite sure whether he was addressing the first part of Patton’s statement or the first. Would he want Patton to know just how easily he got through to Logan? How comfortable he felt with Patton around? To tell someone that, to let them know that they so easily had him figured out, it would give them an immense amount of power. Logan doubted that Patton would even think of using it against him, but no one had ever had this effect on Logan before.

To give that power out, to make that trust and comfort known, it would be as if Logan’s walls came crashing down. He didn’t intend to put borders around himself, originally. He just liked to keep his heart on his cheek and let logic and analyzations do the work. And when people began to see him as emotionless, a “robot” as some dubbed him, he figured it would be best to keep what he felt at bay so that others could not see what they inflicted upon him. One thing led to another and, eventually, Logan just believed it would be best to keep emotions out of his thinking.

To have someone so open, so bright, right in front of him, picking off bricks one by one from the walls that had been around him for years, it sent a jolt of nerves through him.

He just wasn’t quite sure if they were fear for what could happen, or the want to see what would.

\--

When Patton had to leave for a late afternoon class, Logan, Roman, and Virgil decided that they would leave as well. Roman had finished reading (coloring) the chapter he was reading, Virgil was finished with drifting in and out of consciousness if it meant that he wouldn’t actually get to sleep, and Logan’s notebook had remained unwritten in the entire time he was hanging with Patton, which was the entire time. When they arrived back at their dorm, Virgil practically threw himself onto his bed, his head flopping down onto his pillow.

“You cannot tell me that you’re still tired,” Roman said, tossing his textbook onto his own bed. Logan took a seat at his desk, sifting through the papers he had left.

“Actually, I can tell you that, Princey,” Virgil said, lifting his head up. “And, apparently, Logan is too, after all that sleep he told Patton he totally didn’t get.”

Logan’s fingers froze on the papers. He was happy Virgil hadn’t mentioned the miniscule white lie around Patton, but he was also hoping it just wouldn’t come up at all.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Logan said, keeping his voice level. He could feel Roman’s stare on the back of his head.

“Come on, Logan, you know I’m quite the fighter for honesty,” Virgil pressed. Logan sighed with an eye roll and turned in his chair to face his emo nightmare of a roommate.

“How do you know that I wasn’t up late last night?” Logan asked stupidly.

Virgil deadpanned at him. “Because I live with you, and you were out cold last night.”

“I feel like I missed a step in this conversation,” Roman interjected.

“You were listening to your showtunes or whatever,” Virgil said. “Basically, Logan was spacing out, Patton asked why, and Logan, for whatever reason, said he was up late doing homework instead of just saying, y’know, that he was spacing out.”

“You know, I thought you were supposed to be sleeping when all of this happened,” Logan shot at him.

Virgil shot him a smirk as Roman turned to him. “Out of all the things you could lie about ever… to anyone, you choose that one?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Logan huffed. “I don’t know, I panicked, it’s just what I said,” he said, flicking his hands in defense.

“Why would you be nervous when talking to _Patton_ , come on, Lo, it’s-” Logan suddenly saw Roman put two and two together and come to the conclusion that Logan didn’t really feel like discussing yet. “-Patton! It’s _Patton!_ ”

Virgil raised himself up onto his elbows, glancing between the two of them. “Yeah, Roman, I said, like, five minutes ago that it was Patton.”

“No wonder you two were so isolated today!” Roman exclaimed, not paying attention to Virgil’s comment. “I mean, I just can’t believe that we -especially me- didn’t notice it earlier. I feel like now that you mention it-”

“I didn’t mention it,” Logan interjected. “I very much did not mention it.”

“-It should have been so obvious!” Roman continued.

“ _What_ should have been obvious?” Virgil asked, looking up at Roman through his bangs.

“Virg, do me a favor and brush those bangs out of your eyes, it will help you see this-” he waved a hand in Logan’s direction “-and _this_ -” he gestured to himself with a wink “-better! Logan likes Patton!”

Virgil swung his head around to look at Logan with furrowed eyebrows. “You like Patton?”

“I don’t know!” Logan exclaimed.

“You don’t know? That’s a shitty answer,” Virgil said.

“Thank you Virgil I hadn’t noticed,” Logan said pointedly, glaring at his friend.

“Well how do you not know?” Roman asked, crossing his arms. “It’s either a yes or a no, typically.”

“I don’t know,” Logan repeated, turning back to his desk and aimlessly fumbling with his papers. “I don’t- I don’t usually _feel_ like this towards people. Forgive me for not knowing how to act.”

“Well, how _do_ you feel?” Roman asked, his tone less eccentric and more gentle.

Logan could feel his friends’ eyes on him, and even though he _did_ appreciate the talk, no matter how hectic it was, he wasn’t used to all the attention directed just at how he was feeling. He thought for a couple moments, thankful for Roman and Virgil giving him the silence to think. “Patton,” he paused again, thinking about his next word. “Understands. You guys understand, too, but this is… different. Patton understands, and I want to understand Patton more. I want to know Patton more, know what he thinks, _how_ he thinks, what he likes…” Logan worried his bottom lip, staring down at the stack of papers but not seeing them. “Know _him_. In a way that is… more than what I initially expected. He’s distracting but it’s a good kind, and if you guys know anything about me, I don’t typically like being distracted.”

Roman and Virgil were silent for a moment and Logan’s fingers tensed around the paper. He suddenly worried that he said something _wrong_ , said something _weird_ and that his friends were currently judging him for how disconnected he was with his feelings and-

“From what it sounds like, I think you like him,” Roman said.

“You definitely like him,” Virgil said, sitting up.

“Well, what do I do?” Logan asked. He usually knew how to approach situations and how to handle them properly. With this, though, he was completely lost.

“Tell him?” Roman suggested.

The look both Virgil and Logan gave him caused him to huff and roll his eyes. “Well, what else are you going to do? Let it fester until it becomes all consuming and it drives you mad not knowing if he likes you back?”

“I would let it fester,” Virgil said.

“And that is why  _I_ am the one giving advice, Charlie Frown,” Roman said.

“There’s so much potential for this to go wrong, though,” Logan said. “Let’s say I tell him. Then what? It gets awkward, or he doesn’t like me back? He distances himself, or has a worse reaction? Many things can go wrong here, Roman, and I currently don’t have any preparations for what to do if any of these situations were to play out.”

“Okay, I know you’re nervous, but you know Patton would do none of that,” Roman said. “He’s basically America’s Sweetheart. I don’t think you have to worry about any negative reactions.”

“Besides, he talks about you when we’re together,” Virgil said.

“You couldn’t have said that earlier?” Roman asked, whipping his head around to Virgil and raising an eyebrow.

“What can I say, I love dramatic tension,” Virgil smirked. “As long as it’s not about me.”

Logan had been staring at Virgil the entire time. “He… talks about me?”

“Yeah, all the time,” Virgil said. “I know I just said that I personally would let it fester but, if you tell him and he doesn’t like you back, then something is just fucking off in the world.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows, turning his gaze back to his hands. His papers had long since fell from them, now out from their neat pile on his desk. “I don’t even know how I would tell him,” he admitted.

“You just… do?” Roman said weakly. Logan slid him a look that caused him to backtrack on his words. “Well _I_ would be doing a romantic gesture! But that’s me, and knowing you, I know that _that_ is not you. For you, Lo, I think the best might just be telling him. Your words are your greatest tool, we all know it.”

Logan looked to Virgil.

“Don’t look at me,” Virgil said, putting his hands up. “Roman gave better advice than I could even think of giving.”

Logan huffed and adjusted his glasses. His mind was racing because there were too many possibilities, too many outcomes for what could happen if he told Patton, but what was truly sending his mind haywire and his pulse into overdrive was the fact that he _wanted_ to tell Patton.

“I… I think I will,” Logan managed out. “I’ll tell him. I think.”

Roman beamed. “Perfect,” he said. “And we will help you and support you through everything and anything that happens!”

\--

Logan learned from Patton that, on Thursday afternoons, he returned to his dorm as soon as his roommate left for a class. The hour and fifteen minutes that it was just Patton in his room meant that it was his time for peace and quiet. He would use the time to review material from previous classes and recharge for the remainder of the day, which was usually spent out with friends.

Logan, who had been standing outside Patton’s door doing nothing for two minutes now, suddenly regretted choosing this time to go and speak with Patton. Originally, him and Roman had considered it a good idea since it was the time where he was most likely to find Patton alone. But now, what if Logan was interrupting him? What if Patton was busy and Logan was just going to serve as a nuisance?

What if his roommate never went to class and Patton wasn’t alone? Historically, neither Roman, Virgil, or Logan got alone with the Resident Asshole living in Patton’s room, and to see him there with Patton would make things more awkward and tense than they already were and-

“Okay, yeah,” Logan said to himself, cutting off his own thought. “This is _not_ happening today.”

Logan turned on his heel and began the walk back down the hall. He would very calmly return to his dorm and alert his roommates that today was not the day for grand gestures (at least, in his opinion it was grand) and then resort to lying in bed staring at the ceiling all day because his nerves were too frayed to focus on anything. He would probably internally monologue about how he has no clue what he is doing and is probably the person equipped the worst for this type of situation. Sure, Logan knew how to use his words, but Patton just seemed like he would be an expert at this and Logan would probably humiliate himself before-

His feet jolted him to a halt when he heard a door open and shut behind him. Before he could even begin to hope that it was just one of the other various people who lived on their floor, he heard an extremely familiar voice excitedly say, “Logan!”

Logan hesitated only a second before turning back around. He willed a smile to go on his face as Patton approached him. “Patton, hello,” he greeted warmly as he attempted to regulate his heartbeat.

“What are you doing in my neck of the hall?” Patton asked, grinning. “Usually it’s me all the way down there with you three.”

“Actually, I came to see you,” Logan said.

“How funny!” Patton said. “I was just on my to see you guys! I had barely any work to do in the first place so once I finished I just felt like I was gonna lose it if I didn’t go out and see my three closest friends. So, onwards!”

“Actually, Patton,” Logan said, stopping himself from placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder to stop him. “I was wondering if we could talk.” A pause. “Alone.”

Patton furrowed his eyebrows. “Sure, Lo, of course,” he said, concern already etched into his voice. He lead Logan back to his dorm and unlocked the door. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yeah, everything’s fine,” Logan fumbled, mentally kicking himself for making it sound like things were not okay and fine. “I just… want to talk.”

“As you’ve said already,” Patton said as he shut the door behind them. He gave Logan an easy smile, sitting down at his desk. “So, what’s up?”

“I-” Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses, looking anywhere but at Patton. Shit, he hadn’t even started yet and he was already terrible. “Roman and Virgil -well, mostly Roman- urged me to do this and -not saying that I wasn’t going to do this anyway because I was- and I honestly have no clue what I’m doing -which isn’t really average for me, you know? I tend to only do things that I know I can properly think through and understand because that’s just how I am- and-”

“Logan, you’re rambling. What are you so nervous about?” Patton asked with a frown. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you don’t have to be nervous! It’s me!”

“And that’s exactly it! It’s _you!_ ” Logan exclaimed.

A beat of silence passed in between them. “Logan,” Patton said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What does that mean?”

“I-” Logan dragged a hand through his hair. “I like you, Patton. Quite a lot, actually. And I… I understand nothing about any of this. I haven’t really… felt like this about someone before. I never really let myself. I always chose my mind over my heart because it seemed like the smarter thing to do. But, now… I can’t ignore it. I can’t hold back these feelings. And… I want to try. I think to not try would be idiotic. I want to feel this way, and I want to feel this way with _you_ , Patton.”

Patton blinked at him. “Oh,” he said, his voice gentle.

Logan felt a twinge in his heart. Oh. “I mean, of course you do not have to reciprocate. This isn’t me saying that you have to - I can leave if you need me to- and if you want to still hang out with Roman and Virgil I can go to the library I still have a lot of work to do- I always have work to do so it’s really no bother- I’ll just be going-”

“Logan,” Patton said, rising from his chair. Logan snapped his mouth shut. Patton effortlessly, easily, closed the gap between them and cupped Logan’s jaw softly, gently, a touch that Logan now thought he always needed. “I think I might have an answer to your question.” His voice was gentle, quiet, words just for the two of them.

“Please,” Logan breathed, his heart hammering in his chest.

Patton then pulled Logan down to him, their lips meeting in the middle. Patton easily fell into it and Logan let himself be guided. His hands fumbled, unsure of where they should be, until they found their place on Patton’s hips.

The kiss was short, sweet. When they pulled away, their cheeks were flushed a deep red. Patton traced his thumbs along Logan’s jaw.

Logan felt that every thought in his mind and nerve in his body had been silenced and put into a state of utter serenity.

The moment Patton’s blue eyes met Logan’s brown, Patton dissolved into a fit of giggles. The calmness that had settled in Logan was almost completely reversed until Patton said, “I’ve been waiting for this to happen!”

“Wait, really?” Logan asked.

Patton nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I was scared that it was never going to because you’re so calm and cool and collected, I was so nervous that this was just one sided!”

At that, Logan couldn’t hold back laughter, either. “Funny that you say that, Patton,” he said. “I have been expressing the same fears to Roman and Virgil for the past couple days. Speaking of which, Roman requested that I give him every detail of this, no matter the results.”

“You had doubts?”

“You know me, Patton, I have to prepare for every possible outcome,” Logan shrugged.

Patton beamed. “Don’t think so much. Just let these things happen, Lo,” he said. He then pulled away from Logan and held out his hand. “So, how about we go tell Roman and Virgil the good news?”

\--

Logan and Patton didn’t even have the chance to say anything when they walked in. The moment they walked in hand-in-hand, Roman shot up from sitting at his desk and practically bellowed out, “ _I called it!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! as always, kudos and comments are appreciated, but even just you reading makes me happy!!!
> 
> sanders sides blog: ethospathoslogan.tumblr.com  
> main blog: actuallygansey.tumblr.com


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